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Marketing Basics !
A Professor at one of the IIMs was explaining marketing concepts to the
Students:
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I
am very rich. “Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing ”
2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous
girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s
very rich.
“Marry him.” – That’s Advertising ”
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get
her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very
rich.
“Marry me – That’s Telemarketing ”
4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and
straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open
the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer
her ride and then say:”By the way, I’m rich. Will you “Marry Me?” -
That’s Public Relations”
5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you
and says:”You are very rich! “Can you marry ! me?” – That’s Brand
Recognition ”
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
“I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your
face. -”
That’s Customer Feedback ”
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
“I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. -”
That’s demand and supply gap ”
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will
you marry me?” and she goes with him – ” That’s competition eating into
your market share ”
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. -” That’s restriction
for entering new markets ”
Sardar Strikes Again………….last one ultimate..
Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.
Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new
Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Callâ€.
Judge: Don’t U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don’t U have shame?
Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.
Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.
Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: †Bombay … Bombay “
Air hostess said: “B silent.â€
Sardar: “Ok. Ombay. Ombayâ€
Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
“I MISS YOUâ€
Sardarji replied:
“I Mr YOU†!!.
Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar: We lost the duplicate key!!
Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office….
After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient’s Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally Said:
“Oye, Torch is okayâ€
Teacher: “What is common between JESUS, RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?â€
Sardar: “All are born on government holidays…!!!
Doctors’ Opinion of Washington’s Financial Bail Out Package :
The Allergists voted to scratch it, but
The Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but
The Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
The Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while
The Pediatricians said, ‘Oh, Grow up!’
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,
while
The Radiologists could see right through it.
The Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and
The Plastic Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.”
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but
The Urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and
The Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire
decision up to the assholes in Washington!